What the hell is Dethlehem up to??
I’m sure that is the question that’s foremost on everyone’s mind this week. Recently, the above image — some kind of creepy hypnotic eye thing, with a cryptic numeric code imprinted in front of it — mysteriously surfaced on the internet, leading to a huge flurry of speculation from all over the place.
Some people are hazarding guesses about what these symbols mean and have even gone so far as to speculate that they represent a specific date — on which something new and exciting will be revealed to us. Like, “A new video, perhaps? The first single from the upcoming album? An update on Overlord Brom’s beard growth?”
Not bad, GeekDad. But those are all the sort of things the band probably wants us to think about — anything that will keep us off the scent of their TRUE plot! But through painstaking and fastidious research, I have uncovered the real meaning of the numeric code in the mystical JPEG sigil!
As you surely recall from the last time we spoke with the RPG-metal band, following a couple line-up changes and the occasional dragon-slaying quest, they were soon intending to get to work writing and recording their third full-length album, the as-yet-untitled follow-up to The Ghorusalem Codex Vol. 1: Enthroned Upon a Spire and The Ghorusalem Codex Vol. 2: Of Magick & Tyranny.
Well, apparently the writing process has concluded, because over the past month or so the band has started on the actual recording. I know this because their producer/engineer Patrick Lammie began tracking their progress in a studio blog.
BUT SUDDENLY with a blinding flash of TRUTH, it hit me. What is disguised as an innocent commentary on recording gear and microphones and stuff, is actually the solution to the whole mystery! One of the oldest known tricks for encoding information is to write a bunch of nonsense words and hide the REAL message in the middle of it, totally undetected to anyone who doesn’t have the decryption key. OBVIOUSLY the scary green eye holds that answer: the numbers 4, 13, 13 are a key to deciphering the hidden meaning among the (otherwise nonsensical) technical jargon in that studio report!
So without any further ado, I give to you:
TO HERE ON ALBUM
GHORUSALEM VOL. AS WITH ON ENTER
THIS I BLOG
TO ONLY MAKE COURSE OF REGRET OF MIXERS
SO THAT BE WHAT
IN THAT’S EVERYTHING RECORDING TALK
AND SPEND IT CHOSE
TRY PROVIDE THE DON’T YOU AND SWEETWATER
WANT IF THEM OFFER
NEEDING WOULD TO SCORE
HAVE CAN AT SO
HAVE THIS ENTIRE
WHEN THE UP EVERYTHING DETAILS
THE HAVE XLR
WHAT PATCHES IT WHILE
PLACE THEN OF EQS OUT
TO GO SNAKES ARE SNAKE
NOTHING IF A AROUND AND EITHER
OUT A ANY PROJECT
IF AND MY TEST
TAKE SO REPLACEMENTS TRACKING
It goes on and on like that, but I think you get the general idea. Really earth-shattering stuff, huh? I mean, you still have to read between the lines a bit to get the actual meaning they are trying to get across — it’s pretty deep and metaphoric, and requires a bit of extra thought to make it out. But I’ve already done most of the hard work for you, right? That makes everything an awful lot clearer at least, doesn’t it?
Okay, okay. I hate to admit it, but it looks like I was wrong. It seemed like such a brilliant idea, too, but I guess in truth I’m just as clueless as the rest of you. To be honest, I think I wrote the title of this article a bit prematurely, and once that was set in place, I had to really try and sell the concept, to avoid being totally embarrassed. But it looks like it didn’t work out that way.
Anyway, it seems as though we’ll all just have to sit here and wait til the brave warriors of Dethlehem decide to tell us all what they’ve been dropping hints about!