Is today your lucky day? It might be! Check it out — I’ve got the details here for TWO different contests, one where the prize is a total of 29 CDs, and another where you can win a whole bunch of vinyl (including some ultra-rare pieces)!
 

First of all, check out this contest sponsored by Clawhammer PR and MetalReview.com:

The fine folks at Clawhammer PR have always been good to us here at MetalReview, but they’ve outdone themselves with this one. Quite simply, this is the biggest contest we’ve offered up in many a malevolent moon, if not forever and ever. So, first off, let’s all say a special thanks to the Clawhammerkids for hooking us up with this gigantic haul. Once we’ve done that, let’s get down to business, shall we?

WHAT YOU GET (if you win):

Of course, in any contest, you want to know what the prize is, right? Well, for this one, if you win, you get a proverbial shitload of CDs*. Here’s the full list:

Massive Assault — Death Strike  (FDA Rekotz)  [More info here.]
Dead – Hardnaked…but Dead  (FDA Rekotz)  [More info here.]
Revel in Flesh – Deathevokation  (FDA Rekotz)  [More info here.]
Anatomia / Absconder — Audible Assault  (HPGD)  [More info here.]
The Dogs Divine — The Size of the Fight  (Mortal Music)  [More info here.]
Coldworker – The Doomsayer’s Call  (Listenable)  [More info here.]
Outcast – Awaken the Reason  (Listenable)  [More info here.]
Hammer Fight – Hammer Fight  (HPGD Productions)  [More info here.]
Lords of the Trident – Chains on Fire  (Self-Released)  [More info here.]
Lords of the Trident – Death or Sandwich  (Self-Released)  [More info here.]
Uncanny — MCMXCI – MCMXCIV  (Dark Descent)   [More info here.]
Necrophile — Mementos in the Misting Woods  (Dark Descent)  [More info here.]
Entrench — Inevitable Decay  (Abyss)  [More info here.] 
Sincera — Cursed and Proud  (Abyss)  [More info here.] 
The Gardnerz — The System of Nature  (Abyss)  [More info here.] 
Thousand Year War — Tyrants and Men  (Abyss)  [More info here.] 
Maax — Unholy Rock & Roll (Abyss)  [More info here.] 
Erevos — Descensus Ad Inferos  (Okestral Promenade Productions) [More info here.] 
Thunderkraft — Totentanz  (Svarga Music) [More info here.]
Nocturnal Torment — They Come at Night  (Deathgasm)  [More info here.]
King — Forged by Satan’s Doctrine  (Deathgasm) [More info here.] 
Vore — Gravehammer  (Self-Released) [More info here.]  
Hemoptysis — Misanthropic Slaughter  (Self-Released)  [More info here.] 
Sacrificial Slaughter / Enfuneration –– American Death Thrash  (HPGD) [More info here.] 
Pharaoh — Bury the Light  (Cruz Del Sur)  [More info here.] 
On Top –– Top Heavy  (HPGD)  [More info here.] 
Power Theory — Out of the Ashes, Into the Fire…  (Pure Steel)  [More info here.] 
Stephan Forte — The Shadows Compendium  (Listenable)  [More info here.] 
77 — High Decibels  (Listenable)  [More info here.]

 

* Proverbially, a “shitload” means twenty-nine. A lot of people don’t know that.**

** This is not true. We made this up.

 

WHAT YOU DO:

 

We can’t let you get away too easily here — this is the biggest score we’ve offered, so the entry process is a bit more intricate than usual. Read on…We’ve all seen the awesomely awesome recent trend of MS Paint-generated album covers, right? if you haven’t, you should, for ’tis hilarious. And to win these twenty-nine platters of metallic joy, you must use MS Paint or some equivalent program to create the most awesome replication of a classic metal album cover of your choosing. Please note: “awesome” doesn’t mean “perfect.” It often means quite the opposite. Awesome just means awesome — funny, brilliant, whatever. Just awesome. (Also note: the MetalReview team is and forever will bethe final word in what is and is not awesome. It’s what we do. It’s how we roll. We judge the awesomeness herein.)

 

THIS CONTEST WILL RUN UNTIL TUESDAY, APRIL 10, 2012.

WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED AFTER THAT DATE.

 

You can read reviews for two of these CDs here on Valley of Steel: Erevos’ Descensus ad Inferos and Pharaoh’s Bury the Light.

Post your entries on this page in the MetalReview.com forums! Good luck!!

—————————————-

Then, if that weren’t already enough, Metal as Fuck and PATAC Records are giving you a chance to pick up a bunch of records, including a one-of-a-kind test pressing! Here are the details on that one:

It’s not often you get the chance to hand out magnificent, once in a lifetime prizes, no matter how cool, hip an’ happening your website is, but today is one such day… To elaborate, here’s our good friend Dan from PATAC Records:

“I’m looking through my record collection, of course, when looking at covers… I can’t help but admire the Anthrax Fistful of Metal cover.  It is the definition of badass, the dude getting punched in the face is getting totally destroyed.  I wish there were more drawings that amazing, if there were… shit, I’d give them a bunch of records.  So here’s the deal, send me your drawings of someone you hate getting punched in the face.  Could be your boss, the neighbour next door that always lets their poodle shit in your lawn, Whitney Houston… anyone.  The greatest/most ridiculous drawing I receive will get a metric crap-load of free records from PATAC.  Good luck, let there be blood.”

Here are the prizes:
Panzerbastard – Gods, Thugs & Madmen Reference Lacquer (there’s only one in existence!)
Panzerbastard – GT&M 10″ (regular version)
Revilers – S/T LP
Rampant Decay/Kruds split 7″ on ltd. purple vinyl.
Fistula – Loser LP on ltd. clear vinyl
Rawhide – Branded For Life on ltd. blue vinyl
Resistant Culture – All One Struggle LP clear vinyl, gatefold w/ poster
Executioner – Hellbound 7″.

With a prize so good up for grabs MaF’s own Mick Strong is desperately trying to develop some drawing skills so he can get in amongst the prizes, we’ll be leaving this competition open a longer than normal to give you time to get your entries in, Email your artwork here to us (scott@metalasfuck.net) to go into a hat to win this spectacular PATAC grab bag, and do it by May 1st. The best entires will go up on PATAC’s own facebook page, with the winner to be notified by mail on May 2nd – good luck!

You can check out a review for one of these on Valley of Steel: the Rampant Decay/Kruds split.

Email your entry to the address shown above, but if you have any questions about the contest, refer to this article.