The Bloody Seamen – Ahoy, Motherfuckers (2013)


The Bloody SeamenAhoy Motherfuckers (self-released, 19 September 2013)


Hello there, friends and fans of great music! Here’s something I’d been planning on sharing with you last week, but I didn’t have a chance to get any writing done all week because shit got crazy at work. Between someone on vacation, someone at a week-long conference, someone having to go to the hospital, and a temp who doesn’t know how to do much yet, my department was reduced by about half. Which means instead of doing the work of two people, I was actually working for like three or four. No fun.

But really, this review is way more overdue than that — the album I’m telling you about was actually released nine months ago (coincidentally, last year’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day), and I’ve been listening to it over and over since then. The debut album by Pittsburgh’s premier pirate rock band, The Bloody Seamen, impressed me and exceeded my expectations so much, it gained a spot on my list of 2013’s best releases. And today (finally!) I’d like to tell you why.


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Out Today: The Cheats – Pussyfootin!


The CheatsPussyfootin! (03 July 2012, Screaming Crow Records)

So I’d just like to go on the record as stating, holidays in the middle of the week are kinda stupid. Basically it’s like having a weekend, but it’s only one day: all day long there’s that feeling of dread that’s usually associated with Sundays, where it feels nice because you aren’t working, but you know you can’t really do anything especially crazy because you have to be up early the next morning to go back to work.

Lots of holidays are specifically designed to coordinate with your weekend — Memorial Day and Labor Day are on Mondays; Easter is on Sunday but most people get off work the Friday before it; and Thanksgiving is always a Thursday, but if you’re lucky that ends up turning into a four-day weekend.

Some of the other major holidays that could fall on any day of the week (because they have a specific date) can be flexible too: there’s New Years Eve, New Years Day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day, and usually it works out to where those holidays end up adjacent to a weekend, or you at least get both days off so it’s like having a second weekend anyway.

However, tomorrow (Wednesday) is the 4th of July, when we Americans celebrate our Independence Day because that was the date (two-hundred-thirty-some years ago) that some folks had signed the Declaration of Independence from Britain. While that was generally regarded as a good thing (people weren’t real happy about the way they were paying a whole bunch of taxes to the king while feeling like they weren’t really getting much in return), as a holiday it’s only significant enough to justify one day off work. That means, when it ends up being on a Wednesday, I get to be all excited to leave work on Tuesday (today), knowing that I’ll get a break the next day… but that excitement will be short-lived because Wednesday (tomorrow) I’ll realize that there’s still two days left in the week and I have to come back.

But all that seems pretty depressing, and I guess I should try to think positive: no matter what day of the week it is, it’s always better to have one day off than zero days! So, fuck it. I’m going to resolve to take advantage of the time I have, however short it may be, and enjoy myself tonight and tomorrow.

But, in order to have a good time, that would also require some good music, right? Naturally. Well, I’ve got just what the doctor ordered, and I’ll gladly tell you all about it…

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