The Bloody Seamen – Ahoy, Motherfuckers (2013)


The Bloody SeamenAhoy Motherfuckers (self-released, 19 September 2013)


Hello there, friends and fans of great music! Here’s something I’d been planning on sharing with you last week, but I didn’t have a chance to get any writing done all week because shit got crazy at work. Between someone on vacation, someone at a week-long conference, someone having to go to the hospital, and a temp who doesn’t know how to do much yet, my department was reduced by about half. Which means instead of doing the work of two people, I was actually working for like three or four. No fun.

But really, this review is way more overdue than that — the album I’m telling you about was actually released nine months ago (coincidentally, last year’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day), and I’ve been listening to it over and over since then. The debut album by Pittsburgh’s premier pirate rock band, The Bloody Seamen, impressed me and exceeded my expectations so much, it gained a spot on my list of 2013’s best releases. And today (finally!) I’d like to tell you why.


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Get to Know: The Bloody Seamen (Pittsburgh’s Premier Pirate-Rock Band)

The Bloody Seamen is the premier Pirate-Rock band in the Pittsbugh area. They won an award from Backallie Music for “Best Live Band in Pittsburgh” in 2011. Also, little known fact, they’re actually better at playing baseball than the actual Major League Baseball team, the Pittsburgh Pirates. But the same could be said about practically anybody, so these guys tend to focus on their own unique skill-set, which involves drinking rum*, plundering booty (both kinds), and plenty of high-seas hijinks, but primarily their mission statement is to “crush your souls and melt your faces with sheer rock n’ roll power.”

Their songs range from traditional accapella shanties to blistering, bombastic rock n’ roll. Their music can only be matched by their stage shows which include swordplay, firearms, audience participation, fisticuffs, and all sorts of high-seas skullduggery.” See below for audio and video evidence of said skullduggery.

* – And speaking of rum, these buccaneers embarked on a campaign a few weeks ago to attrack the attention and sponsorship of Sailor Jerry brand “Original Spiced Navy Rum” — the potent-potable maker has sponsored music acts, but never a pirate-themed rock band, and TBS have made it their mission to become the first. To this end, any fans are encouraged to get in touch with the company with a (polite) request to consider the band.

Led by Captaine Maurice Lafiet Blaqueguttes (vocals), this band of cut-throats also consists of First Mate Mr. Alasdiar “Pipes” Quint (fife/accordion/bagpipes), Quartermaster “Filthy” Cheswick Springdale (guitar), Botswain “Keelhaul” Von Blaggard III (drums), Master Gunner Thom “Gunny” Castor (guitar), and Swabbie “Squid” (bass).

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